Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder: The Constant Me v/s Me Challenge & Signs

Waking up late and realizing you missed your alarm again and now you have to skip the routines to aid with the additional cholesterol. Knowing that you gotta leave for the office anyhow by 10 along with the guilt of sitting in the toilet for more than 20 minutes and having no breakfast after. Coming home with collected backlogs and working your ass off late at night with the conversations playing in your head. It will obviously make you feel miserable and unpleasant about your existence. 

You may not know but this is what a Quiet Borderline Personality looks like. The constant me v/s me fights and blaming yourself for nearly everything that causes inconvenience, even if it has nothing to do with you. The rage towards failures and dealing with internalizing every emotion is the influence of BPD. We are enlisting symptoms and exampling incidents that can be caused by Quiet borderline personality disorder however it may vary from person to person. 

Acting in

You may appear normal and stable to people because there are no emotions of rage on your face but the "quietness" between the jumps of thoughts expresses it all. Saying things in a very summarised manner or repeating what was being said earlier due to lack of words can symbolize your struggle with Quiet BPD.

Expecting the worst out of everything

In QBPD all signs are directed inwards. People suffering from it might feel a sense of being abandoned by others and hate whatever they do. Feel unsure about what they want in life and keep changing their goals in accordance with their borrowed personalities. Mishearing and interpreting things per the stories in their minds and most commonly expecting the worst out of everything. 

Easily triggered

To avoid the humiliation and save themselves from getting embarrassed people with Quiet BPD cut their chords from others. If by any chance they like to meet new people, they would put all their effort into trying to be liked by the new people. They are prone to be easily triggered by the slightest hint of disappointment from others. 

Producing and playing noises

By mixing up all the complete and incomplete chats with others they produce noises in their heads and play them over and over. They yearn to hear the final line full of appreciation and compliments when fear of rejection attacks over. 

Suicidality

Quiet BPD has a 10% rate of people dying from it. People with QBPD rarely seek help and can hide things very easily. They might be the perfectionist around you whilst they are pleasing everyone and imitating self-sabotage inside. 

Helplessness in organizing thoughts

Persons with BPD lack focus and thoughts in doing things. Their emotions are flingy and their irregular mood swings hinder their important decisions. They take more than average time in doing things to make them perfect but end up hating and regretting the outcome.