In relationships of any kind, romantic, friendship, or family, we see that communication is the bond that brings people together. But also what is not said plays a large role as what is. While many women are open about their feelings, there are issues which they quietly struggle with which they report are "fine" even when they aren't. By this I mean to say that which issues are not brought to light play a key role in the health of the relationship and by which better, more empathetic connections are formed and which in turn eliminate a lot of that which is unnecessary conflict.
If at some point you have been the recipient of a woman's cool silence, a slightly forced smile, or a report of nothing is amiss which in fact is a lie more often than not she is upset with you also perhaps on issues which you did not think to be that big of a deal. These may seem like minor or harmless issues can add up to large-scale frustration over time. Here is a breakdown of the which are very common issues and situations that get women worked up, which they may not bring up, in which you may be a part.
1. When You Interrupt Her Mid-Sentence
What you are putting out isn't of great importance to me. Though she may not bring it up right away that which you are doing is hurting you in the end.
2. Not Acknowledging Her Efforts
Whether it is hours of time spent on your birthday party or a home-cooked meal prepared after a long day, we may not notice her thoughtfulness. But a simple "thank you" or to say that you notice goes a great distance. That said, she may not blow up at you but do note every little thing she does for you.
3. Telling her to "Peace out" or "Chill"
These in argument put forth these which pass judgment on her feelings, that they are out of line or too much, which in turn makes her feel dismissed instead of heard. Also, it is ironic that we see the results of this type of response are the opposite of what is intended.
4. In Comparison to Other Women, even casually
Saying "My past relationship ended because that's what they did, or "You do this which my mother did" may come off as harmless but women often take these comparisons to heart. In terms of looks, behavior, or talent, comparisons put her on the defense; they make her feel put down, judged, or as if she is being held up to someone else's standard.
5. Not Listening with Intent
Women usually prefer in-depth, involved conversations. When she brings up her day, her dreams, what is on her mind and you are on your phone or give short responses that is a sign of not really being there for her. Even if she brushes it off at the time, inside she feels wounded and a distance grows between them.
6. Teasing her in public
Playful banter may appear harmless to you, but if it plays on her insecurities like her weight, appearance, or intelligence, that can silently damage her confidence. Women may join in the joke to avoid the moment's tension but often feel embarrassed or betrayed after.
7. Being Inconsistent with Affection Out of sync in affection
Sudden shifts in affection, texting less, giving fewer compliments, or being less physical put women on edge, which in turn think that maybe there is an issue. Also if you're just very tired or busy out of the blue she may interpret that as a problem.
8. Putting it out there but not through with it
Making plans with you, which you then break at the drop of a hat, or you say you will do something but then you don't show up it leaves her with the feeling that she can't depend on you. Though she may put on a show of understanding, in the long run, this type of behavior fosters disbelief and trust issues.
9. Ignoring her passions or interests
When she lights up talking about a book, movie, or project that she is into and you brush it off or make a joke about it, that may feel like you are dismissing a part of her that she is into. Women value emotional connection through shared excitement, so at times, you may not realize the impact of your indifference.
10. Ignoring her emotional signals
Women put out signs of pain, which are very subtle, short answers, avoiding eye contact, and sudden silence. When we miss these tells or tune them out she feels ignored. Also, she does not want to "nag" or repeat herself; what she expects is some intuitive grasp of her issues over time.
Why do these small issues matter so much?
What we may see as a big deal is for someone else a small issue. These subtle issues don't always cause a blow-up; instead, they slowly add up over time. Also, women tend to put peace in the relationship first, so instead of putting out what is on their mind, they may hold it in, which in the end just turns into resentment.
Through identification of and response to those subtle emotional triggers that lie out of sight, partners, friends and colleagues may cultivate better, more respectful relationships. In terms of emotional intelligence, which is key here, we are talking awareness, empathy, and presence.
What to Do Instead: Healthy Interaction Tips
Listen Actively: Drop all distractions and pay attention.
Ask Questions: If she is out of sorts, don't assume-ask.
Offer Validation: Even though you may not fully grasp it, recognize her feelings.
Apologize When Needed: A true "I had no idea that would affect you this way, I am sorry" works well.
Don't Play Down Her Emotions: Respect what she is going through even if it is different from your own.
To have my voice out there, my actions to play out, to be put in a good light. When we do that which we ask of each other, trust grows and love flourishes.
So when she reports that she is fine, stop and think what she is really trying to say?
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