Friendship is as essential as life itself. It provides you with support, happiness, and companionship. However, if you feel uncomfortable with close friendships, it might require some self-examination of your life habits. Many people unknowingly push someone away when they do not try reaching out through actions that push the person further away. A person could therefore have as many as ten toxic habits that bar him or her from creating deep and meaningful friendships.
1. Excessively critical
Nobody wishes to be scrutinized with a magnifying glass all the time. Letting people know that you just go in for judging them from their shortcomings or rendering them some unkind comments makes them very uncomfortable in that friendship. That is not the foundation of friendship, understanding and acceptance, but judgment.
2. Excessively Talkative: Self-Absorbed
Just this particular kind of person talks nonstop about himself to other people who happen to be sitting there not saying a word, well aware he's completely hogging the show with one-sided conversations that leave the other feeling, well really, useless. They begin to realize that real friendship is when we share with each other and listen to one another.
3. Negative Vibe and Complaining
Being around negativity drains the energy from you. If you are talking a lot of bad things going on in life or, worse, you do a great deal of complaining, then you can be sure that people will stay away from you, not at least for the sake of their mental health. Balance your bitterness with some good-talking.
4. Violating Boundaries
Healthy friendships would respect personal boundaries. Terms of boundary violation, prying into very private business, or being too clingy are among the most frequent ways of offending and driving people away.
5. Wishy-Washiness and Inconstant Loyalty
Trust in a friendship is highly required. You flake on everything from plans to even showing up late to even not following through with what you promised, and over the years, you build and maintain trust.
6. Always Needing Something
Emotional support is ideally what friendship is about, upkeep, nothing more, nothing less. Therefore, when you are calling your friends only when you want something, emotional support, favors, or advice, your friends would begin to feel used rather than valued.
7. Always Competing
Competition is healthy to a level, but being in-your-face with your competitiveness will tire everyone out. If you always try to prove that you are better than others, then people may feel that they can't be vulnerable with you.
8. Chronic Gossiping
If you're the kind of backstabbing person, others will always think you do the same behind their backs. This creates an atmosphere of suspicion and distrust for growing and keeping a friendship.
9. Not Appreciative of Efforts
Friendship is nurtured by mutual appreciation and when one tends to take everything for granted, cherishes little of what is done for him or her, and is far between "thank you." They may start feeling insignificant and therefore withdraw.
10. Meaningful Discussion Avoided
Shallow conversation is fine, but true friends tend to go to a deeper emotional tie. If you avoid talking about anything at all that might be termed as feeling or burden or anything of importance, then it becomes quite difficult for people to really feel close to you.
Feeling identified by these personal characteristics is not the end of the road for you. Being aware of themselves is the first step to amending it. Very little changes, however, such as being a better listener and honoring boundaries, will go a long way.
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