I have always loved my daughter more than anything. She came into my life when I was feeling hopeless about the world and environment. Time flies so quickly and you do not leave with time to look back. Having raised her for 7 years I found no hurdles in her playing and growing. She grew up perfectly just like a healthy kid, she was so active that sometimes I had to be up after midnight just to answer her questions after the bed story I read to her.
It was the first day of primary school and she was very excited about meeting and making new friends. She requested me to give her the new bag that her father had bought on her birthday.
Everything was fine in the morning but when she returned home I saw her sad face with no excitement. My baby never looked this upset, especially after school time. She always had something to tell me. She barely ate anything and went to sleep. After asking so many times she started crying and said: "Mumma Am I not pretty?" She told me that her classmates made fun of her dark complexion which shook me to my core.
She always praised the things around her. But that incident made her so quiet. There was another event at her school on Children's Day. She said that her classmates will perform as freedom fighters which made her so nervous about her role. She asked, "Mumma if I won't look good in the role?"
Her questions made me question my upbringing. I never taught her to be someone who questions her beauty but what is something that I have missed? Then I realized that we are raised in such a society where physical beauty has been given so much importance over inner beauty.
I was questioning to myself why we always buy white dolls. Isn't it my fault that I never let her play with black dolls? Why I have always read her fairy tales about the beautiful princess? Why I have never told her the beauty of Moana? Why I have never read her the story of Sir Nelson Mandela at her bedtime stories?
We, as a Mother, always brought things to our children which looks good and shiny. But we forget to teach them about the inner-beauty and self-worth. After that, I started redefining things for my daughter which changed my perspective too. I shared my school stories and told her about racism and its impacts on kids' minds.
Most evenings we just sat and talk and spent answering her curious questions.
She is 11 and much braver than kids of her age. She is learning better and along with her, I am learning too.
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