Do you think of yourself as a perfect mom? Well, no mother is perfect but are you, someone, that your children never fear to share anything with? You might think that you are doing everything to provide for your children and to look after them but if you try to see it closely there will be sad and disappointing faces. This society has been putting a lot of pressure on mothers and children too, TV channels, and movies are full of dramas showing Good mothers/Bad mothers, Good kids/Bad kids. They know where the weakness lies and the audience watches it to justify their toxic behaviors. What makes you a horrible mother won't be hidden for a long time.
To make a fine mother or parent one does not have to possess superficial powers or mind-reading eyes, you are only a few steps behind from becoming one. And if you are someone with the following characteristics then you got to work hard to leave that shell.
Weaponizing your tears
What really makes you horrible at parenting is just that you cross the limits without even realizing it. You engulf yourself in tears to dominate your child(ren) and weaponize it. Because you know that they can't see you in tears you decide to make it a habit and even if it is hard to differentiate for you too whether you were actually sad or you are pretending to get things done easily.
Prioritizing your needs
If you are a mother who prioritizes her needs over the sacrifice of your child's study or career, indeed you are selfish. Not letting them go out because you have thrown a kitty party on Sunday evening and now you need hands to help and you completely forget that your children too need a day of studying/working.
Only you decide how things will be done
Be it the curtain color, or a TV channel only you get to decide. What makes you a horrible mother is when you do not let your children watch a match saying they can watch it on the phone. You don't ask them before inviting the relatives and don't care about bothering them even during their exams or vivas.
Labeling Children as Good/Bad
When one kid of yours does something you find interesting doesn't make the other one bad. This is one of the classic behavior of manipulative moms to control and shape their children under their definition of perfection. And when a child denies following the instruction bad moms start yelling about how they held them for 9 months inside the womb. You should remember that you wanted children because you gotta show off to society how your kid is obeying you blindly. Since you can't see that dream coming true you start psychologically abusing them.
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