2022 is about to come to an end and I finally have learned to move on from the things that ruined my whole freaking year. As I am writing this my hands are a bit shaken by the thoughts I am about to share. This is not something that I have been keeping grudges against the person who made me doubt my inner self, my confidence, and my strength. I just want to let it come out at once because I have been holding it inside for a long time and I can't do it anymore. And most importantly I want to say thanks to the person, So thank you J, I don't hate you, I hate the way you treated me.
Long story short, she used to be my best friend since class 5th. Initially, I didn't like her because she was better at studies and sports, better than me. And for a popular girl in school, It was undigestable to see someone gaining fame. Well, we were kids and stupid but we came closer and it was the best moment of my life when I finally had someone with whom I could share anything. Days were passing by and we were in college. It was summer 2020, and J and I were together but things had started taking turns. People liked me in college and since J was with me, she also gained all the attention. But she always has this thing in her head that deserves more attention than me. She tried controlling me, telling me whom to talk to, what to eat, where to go, and which boy I shouldn't be talking to.
Things were weird but I kept it inside and didn't stop her, but it started eating me and I was fully aware of it. I decided to make another friend. And it was a boy from college, we did make eye contact but J always was there telling me to not trust that guy. So in the Spring of 2021, I bumped into that guy and coincidently J wasn't around, we talked and followed each other on social media. Upon this, J started talking to me so badly like I owed her something. I never liked people with controlling nature, not even in my family. J, I don't hate you but the way you started treating me in front of everyone was humiliating. Sometimes she would say that she won't interfere in my personal matters but when she saw my photo with him at a cafe, she freaked out and made me feel guilty about enjoying going out. She started reminding me of my poor financial condition and how bad my career planning is.
I was under constant pressure of saving my childhood friend and my mental peace. My friend who later became my boyfriend kept me sane. I maintained a distance from J to leave bitter things behind and gave her a chance, but no she never changed and things never went back to how it was earlier. My boyfriend and I were living our college life and 2022 came. It was the new year and we all went to a grand party. I was happy to start fresh and we drank bottoms up. The last thing I remember is only I saw my boyfriend leaving for beers and someone offering me a glass of wine. The next morning I woke up with a heavy headache and notifications popping up continuously. And then the friend who brought me home asked me if I remember what has happened last night. I asked her "Did someone kiss me?"
My boyfriend broke up with me. It was J who did this to me and became a total innocent. She never accepted her crime and hoped for me to reunite with her.
Morning October 2022, J is calling me. I ignored the call. J is texting me. I blocked her.
J, I don't hate you, I hate the way you treated me.
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